The Lamentation by Virginia Hooper Postmodern Culture v.5 n.3 (May, 1995) pmc@jefferson.village.virginia.edu Copyright (c) 1995 by Virginia Hooper, all rights reserved. This text may be used and shared in accordance with the fair-use provisions of U.S. copyright law, and it may be archived and redistributed in electronic form, provided that the editors are notified and no fee is charged for access. Archiving, redistribution, or republication of this text on other terms, in any medium, requires the consent of the author and the notification of the publisher, Oxford University Press.
%Philosophical speculation and recent history alike had prepared the way for an understanding of the process by which, in times long past, the gods had been recruited from the ranks of mortal men.% -- Jean Seznec, _The Survival of the Pagan Gods_ *A*nything that serves as a hint or reminder of the past, either of two prayers in the canon beginning with the word %Memento%, the first being for the living, the second for the dead, each serving as a reminder of the past. At the line of the apparent meeting of the sky with the earth, the bounds of one's observation, knowledge and experience unfold upon the point where the observer stands. The great circle of a celestial sphere cutting the center of the mind midway between its zenith and nadir, revealing a layer of memory characterized by the presence of one or more distinctive centers of attraction. I came to know her again, to perceive her as identical with the one I had previously known. So related, as two concepts, that if the first determines the second, then the second determines the first. The quotient obtained in dividing unity by a number or expression. To pursue for the purpose of catching; to range over an area in search of game; to chase, drive away, or pursue with greed; to search for eagerly. To search for until found; to find after a search. To utter the loud, mournful wail of a dog, wolf, or other animal. To utter such a cry in pain, grief or rage. The first part of the romance began on an ancient instrument of execution, a horizontal piece near the top, upon which condemned persons were fastened until they died. A sacred symbol in many ancient religions, consisting basically of two intersecting lines. The emblem of Christianity, a representation of the cross upon which Christ died. Any severe trial, affliction or suffering. Anything that resembles or is intermediate between two other things: a cross between poetry and prose. The accidental contact of two wires so that current from one flows to the other. The geometric mean of two numbers. To move or pass from one side to the other; go across; traverse. To draw a line across. To obstruct or hinder; thwart. Our paths had crossed. It had crossed my mind this might happen. She made me promise to tell the truth by making the sign of the cross over my heart. She insisted I mark a cross on the palm of my hand, as though paying a fortuneteller. Choose implies an act of will: to choose a side. Select emphasizes careful consideration and comparison: to select the best cookie from a tray. To pick is to select because especially well fitted or appropriate. Cull means to select and collect at the same time: to cull striking passages from a book. To prefer is to favor mentally, often without any overt act: she preferred me for no other reason. But she had also thwarted it. This much I could remember, but not easily. Memory, remembrance, retrospect, recollection and reminiscence refer to the recalling of one's past experience. Memory is the mental faculty by which this recall takes place; remembrance is the act of bringing something to mind: her eyes were like sapphires. Retrospect is the turning of the mind to the past, and recollection the voluntary calling back of what has been learned or experienced. Of the two, retrospect suggests contemplation or careful consideration of the past, while recollection is more specific and aims to recapture a single fact or event for some immediate practical purpose. Reminiscence implies the narration and savoring of past events. The card had been drawn. The Fool represents the absence of all things real or imagined. It is the beginner's mind and the concept of nothingness. "Now that you've come, stay a while." Either of the terms of the story that, separated in the premises, are joined in the conclusion, so that they are eternally happy. We met by the edge of the sea. Effect, consequence, result, outcome and upshot refer to events or circumstances produced by some agency. Effect stresses most strongly the presence and force of an agency, since its correlative is cause. Popular usage often substitutes consequence for effect, though strictly a consequence is merely that which comes afterward in time and is not necessarily connected causally with its antecedents. Result suggests finality, or that effect with which the operation of a cause terminates. Outcome suggests a result that makes visible or evident the working of an agency, and upshot suggests a decisive or climactic result. She had sent me hunting for causes. A determinant, antecedent,motive and reason refer to events or circumstances prior to others. A cause produces a necessary and invariable effect; it may be used in the sense of the determinant to mean one of the prior factors that influence the form, details or character of the effect without being its sole cause. An antecedent refers merely to that which goes before in time, and does not necessarily imply any causal relationship. A motive is the inner impulse that guides intelligent action: a reason, the explanation given. Reason, purpose, motive, ground and argument are compared as they denote the basis of a human action. A reason seeks to explain or justify an action by citing facts, circumstances, inducement and the like, together with the workings of the mind upon them. Reasons may include purpose and motive as internal or subjective elements, and also grounds and arguments that are external or objective. The purpose of an action is the effect that it is intended to produce; its motive is the inner impulse that sets is in motion and guides it. I returned to the edge of the sea. The beginning of the existence of anything; a primary source. The point at which the axes of a Cartesian coordinate system intersect: the point where the ordinate and abscissa equal zero. A quarter section of a circle, subtending an arc of 90 degrees, with a movable radius for measuring angles, used in navigation, surveying and astronomy. In a Cartesian coordinate system, any of the four sections formed by the intersection of the X and Y axes. Moving counter-clockwise from the upper right-hand quadrant, they are called the first, second, third and fourth quadrants. Beginning, commencement, opening, initiation and inauguration refer to the earliest period of existence. Beginning is the broadest term and is applied freely to human and nonhuman activities. Initiation, besides the particular sense of the beginning of membership in an organization, refers to the beginning of things created by human effort or ingenuity: The initiation of our friendship was marked by great relief. This was as far as I could go without adopting the method of the cross-word puzzler, which is to use the answers already secured as clues for the solution of the more difficult riddles that remain. The First Quadrant %If transcendental subjectivity is the universe of possible sense, then an outside is precisely -- nonsense.% -- Edmund Husserl, _Cartesian Meditations_ *B*eing in the shadow of someone superlative, spinning round a magical orbit, forming the essential part of the symmetry, climbing stairs that led the way on a day that imposed upon us to stay in the house, I met her trying to see out the window. She had told me to sit down and pause a moment, then she'd give me a reason not to go. I began to cry. "But why?" she asked. "You can have your cake and eat it too, if you like." She was writing her memoirs, she would later explain to me. "How come?" I asked her. She handed me some ice-cream for the cake. "I should be on my way, you see, I'm on my bike following a course on the far side of a wave which brought me here. I guess it's high time I got somewhere." She told me to sit a moment, not to go, that much of her time was spent in dealing with her own endeavors. Tiresome, it became. After our exchange, she asked my name. I could not remember and said I would prefer to omit that part of the game in favor of such activities as keeping warm from the cold. This apparently struck her as delightful, that the verification of so small a percentage of her theory could so powerfully strengthen her belief in its totality. The blank in my mind began to obsess my thoughts, as I sank back into a chair to gaze out her window and lengthen the vision of days I would spend with her, each vintage of an hour before the passage into nightfall. To confuse or perplex; mystify. To solve by investigation or study; to puzzle over. To attempt to understand or solve. A toy, word, game, etc., designed to test one's ingenuity or patience. Puzzle, problem, enigma, conundrum, riddle and mystery signify any difficult or perplexing matter. A puzzle is usually intricate but can be solved by ingenuity and patience; many puzzles are made for amusement. A problem usually demands special knowledge and good judgement; formal problems are given to students to test their learning and skill. An enigma is something said or written whose meaning is hidden and can only be inferred from clues. A conundrum is a baffling question, the answer to which depends upon some trick of words. Conundrums are also called riddles, but a riddle is usually less playful in character: The riddle required my response. A mystery was originally something beyond human comprehension, but the word is now freely applied to perplexing situations. *D*uring the recurring period within which certain events occurred and completed themselves, during the days we came to know one another, she began to teach me many things beyond the level of my previous understanding, forming a bond as though we were a daughter and mother. There were many and assorted books upon her shelves, each afternoon requiring that we find a niche to settle in, while she revealed her special knowledge pertaining to the arts of magic and the stars. "Time is an abstraction from change," she began explaining to me. I replied that this was possible to see. "It's secret rests in two bodies of attraction, and in the knowledge there concealed. We must distinguish between two different types of change. The first of an event taking place before our eyes, the second of an event having already occurred. In the first, we detect an event as randomly dispersed, and in the second, it is the memory that is meant. Imagine, if you can,measuring the relative pace of those two seagulls in their flights." I looked to see through her window the one intent upon overtaking the other, following in a regular and persistent pattern. "We observe the spatial disposition of things and we follow their temporal succession, but to perceive them moving forward in progression requires the sense of each. As to where their wings will take them and when, each seagull follows the pattern determined in the search for its lover. In this direction, all creatures go." Journey, voyage, tour, excursion and pilgrimage denote a going from one place to another. Journey is the general term, implying no particular distance or means of locomotion, but the tendency is to restrict it to travel by land; voyage is commonly reserved for travel by sea. A tour is a journey to a number of different places by a circuitous route. A trip is a short journey. Both tour and trip imply a return to the starting point; this is made explicit in excursion, which describes a temporary departure from a place. A pilgrimage is a journey to a destination held in reverence. To succeed in time or order. To seek to overtake or capture; to follow the customs of a country. To watch or observe closely: She followed the course of her life. I had, no doubt, followed her here. To understand the course, sequence or meaning of, as an explanation. To come after as a consequence or result: the effect follows the cause. To follow through to the end, as an argument. In card games, to play a card of the suit led. A stroke in billiards that causes the cue ball, after impact, to follow the object ball. *T*he beautiful formlessness of the sea, a landscape that was not land, but the end of the land, upon this edge I stood and stared, wedged between two waves of remembrance, each of which afforded me an avenue of admittance. And standing along this rocky shore, I knew then that I was paired to both. The tide gathered itself as the wind brought to me the sight of the seagulls in their constancy, the faithfulness of their purpose. The silence drew away from me as the rim of my vision parted in such a way that a faint, undersea light filtered across the sand, exposing each pebble and shell as the wreckage of some other abandoned landscape, as though seeing from the bottom of a pool, their fixed shape, the glimpse of some other time and place I can't dispel. By the beautiful formlessness of the sea, I remembered my given name. Following an imaginary line, I had started the descending flight which had led to my residence. After a moment, she stood beside me and we talked of my understanding. I had made a big decision not to leave, to stay right here in the house and under no condition allow myself to be taken back. It would be difficult, but I planned a counterattack I knew should work if I used all my hope. Anyhow, the first important step was to tell her my intention. By now we were some distance from the house, as we walked along the shore. A quarter of an hour passed before we turned back. I told her to hold on to me by all means because I hadn't been discharged at all. I had somehow managed to get out! She took my hand, "You've only followed the route I made for you." We stood together facing her large house by the sea until the sun was finally gone. Events here, I plainly saw, were beyond my own power. Emblem, symbol, sign and token agree in denoting a visible representation, usually of something intangible. An emblem appeals most strongly to the eye. In this strictest sense, it is a pictorial device, as a seal, badge, flag, etc., or, less frequently, some object which represents or suggests a religious, familial, political or similar group, either through fitness or historical connection: The seashell became the emblem of our love. In less strict use, emblem is sometimes interchanged with symbol, a word with much broader application: The Cross is the emblem (or symbol) of Christianity. A symbol may be pictorial or not; its connection with its original may be historical, conventional or purely arbitrary. A sign may be an arbitrary symbol, or it may be the outward manifestation of inward character. Token is applied chiefly to a symbol which represents a pledge: A kiss is a token of love. Bend, bow, crook, turn and twist mean to change the form or direction of a thing. Bend and bow suggest a smooth curve, but bend may also be used for angular or irregular turns: She bent my path toward her. Crook means to bend into a hooklike shape. Turn refers to a change in direction rather than a change in shape, while twist suggests a great or violent force: to turn the course of a stream, to twist my arm. Bend, bow and stoop refer to bodily positions. Bend is used of any departure from an upright stance: to bend over the table. Bow is usually formal, and describes a forward and downward inclination of the head or upper body. *B*y hook or by crook, I had been found in her book. Without defense or protection, being without means, lacking the conditions necessary for any particular kind of validation, as of a contract or promise, I was conferred into a precise point, a mysterious mark, from which the diverted hours led me to embark upon a course toward her side, an apprentice washed in by the raging sea, standing perpendicular above the teeming foam, seeking shelter and one to please. On a day that imposed upon us to stay in the house, she took me into her pleasure as though I had strayed into her presence without there having been any need or reason. A longing bred and borne on the very ground where I had come to stand, a simple enough provocation to awaken the desire for her and violent storms at sea. Absorbed upon the forms that made her image, I was protected by the sea's fortification, wishing for nothing more than to work beside her spellbound through these days that promised to be forever ongoing, as all things are governed by her intelligence. The Second Quadrant %All that in idea seemed simple became in practice immediately complex; as the waves shape themselves symmetrically from the cliff top, but to the swimmer among them are divided by steep gulfs, and foaming crests.% -- Virginia Woolf, _To the Lighthouse_ "*W*ould you care to take a trip to the lighthouse?" she asked on a day that imposed upon us to stay out of the house. I said that this sounded like a lovely thing to do. "We can pack a picnic basket and spend the whole day right smack on the island," she boasted, "and completely surrounded by water." The attraction was undeniable and not a little risque. "If it appeals to you in the slightest, a night in the lighthouse could be arranged." I carefully considered the thought. What did this portend? "Well, yes, of course," I replied to the pleasure, "but we must rise with the seagulls." She nodded her head. "Which means, of course, we must go early to bed," she declared to me. I knew it was clearly unwise to argue this point. In any case, I was quick to endorse the event and certainly had no wish to appear untaught in the particulars of my inclinations. But her point was well taken that a day and a night spent in the lighthouse would surely be divine. We were definitely in sympathy. So the imagined milieu of one foggy night's indulgence did not provoke dissent from me. I had heard strange tales about this joint! And besides, a slight respite would be nice. So the next morning we set our sails toward our goal, tacking into the wind, rising with each cresting wave. "What makes a sailboat go?" I thought to ask. "The wind -- that is what." She handed me the flask of wine. "But the wind will sometimes behave in a very odd way." She leaned back against our bedroll, dipping her hand into the basket for a slice of Camembert cheese. "Otherwise, how could we sail directly against the force which is pushing us? The wind's force passing over our sail's surface creates a lift upon the topside, a contrary vacuum occurs on the backside. This vacuum causes our boat to zoom ahead. Any attempt to locate this power is useless, but the laws assure us it is there. This wondrous effect is also assisted by the essential detail of the centerboard keel, maintaining our upright position. And so, there are two forces -- one from water, the other from air -- known as the parallelogram of power. A boat is capable of sailing into the wind, with the wind, or at right angles to its destined position. We have two sails lending us power. The first channels air across the main and is a quarter of its size. The larger and the smaller unite in concert to provide the proper angle in their opposition. Air rushes through their division; from this the vacuum springs." I enjoyed her explanation, but better was the wind against my face and, now and then, the sprays of mist washing over us. She handed me a sandwich I couldn't resist of avocado and alfalfa sprouts. "I think I comprehend what makes our sailboat go and all those other things, but my mind is somewhat vague concerning the proposition of opposition." She told me not to worry. "Sit back and enjoy your sandwich." I obeyed and figured by now we must be halfway there. From one perspective I saw our home receding into the distance, and from another emerged the lighthouse's existence. Everything seemed as it should, with no other objective required then the one at hand. We clowned and snickered the rest of the way, savoring every glorious snack. Any movement of air, especially a natural horizontal movement; air in motion naturally. Any powerful or wonderful force: It was the wind's pleasure to serve them. The direction from which a wind blows; one of the cardinal points of the compass: They gathered from the four winds. A suggestion or intimation: to get wind of a plot. The power of breathing. Breath as expended in words, especially as having more sound than sense; idle chatter. The wind instruments of an orchestra; also, the players of these instruments. To receive a hint of: The deer got wind of the hunter -- hurrah! To sail in a direction as near as possible to that from which the wind blows. A sandwich is made from two thin slices of bread, having between them meat, cheese, etc., only it is highly improper to eat an animal, so an avocado may be substituted, or even a banana if one desires. Sometimes an eggplant is tasty. Any combination of alternating dissimilar ingredients pressed together. Day alternated with night. To change from one place, condition, etc., to another and back again. Existing, occurring or following by turns; reciprocal. We alternated steering the rudder while our legs were sandwiched together. It was a very pleasant voyage. *T*he abandoned lighthouse stood on a slight eminence of land located in the center of the island. On all sides, the ground sloped gently away until the shore met the lapping affection of the water's edge. We climbed out of our boat. "We should wedge our craft up among the rocks so it will stay safe from the tide. Perhaps on the far side where the highland faces north." While we performed our task with diligence, the sun had waited to place itself beneath the darkening sky and now, as evening came, was nowhere to be found. "Now tell me, have you ever seen such a splendid retreat?" she asked with evident joy. I had to agree. Anyone would. "Let's put our bags away, then we'll sightsee around the place. We can gather some mesquite for roasting our fish. Afterward, we'll wade the sound for a clam and an oyster or two." This seemed to specify precisely what we'd do for dinner. "Put your sweater on, you'll catch a chill." She handed me my knapsack. I couldn't help but stop and admire the conical structure of rusticated stone, a crown of tiny windows encircling the top. We followed the winding path toward the door, when suddenly a drop of rain splashed down. Seeing I was scared, she told me to trust her. We wound our way up the spiral stairway and began to unpack. "This storm is going to be a rough one, so we'd better plan to camp inside. As I recall, there's a dry supply of wood stored down below. We'll light a fire and make ourselves at home." I trembled as the first crack of lightning bathed the facets of the room in separateness, a faint and subtle apprehension stretched my fears undone, directing my intelligence back upon its own confusion. She had left me standing alone in order to acquaint me with another part of myself, some unfelt, frightening quarter I hadn't known. Shadowing this initial agitation, my desire to bring her back into my presence prevailed against her absence, and suddenly she reappeared. "I found some nice dry mesquite." I turned to see her standing at the stairs, a sign of reassurance that pinned me to ground. "The fear that I just had while you were nowhere to be found, I do not understand it -- I have never suffered such nightmares in my sleep." She answered, "This was merely a device to hear you call my name, as a young, tame animal left unfenced will do when unattended." I stared in disbelief. She had put me to a proof. "Your voice is strong and resonant. A fine thing. You have learned from me." She worked to build the fire. "Our calls are in accord." I understood nothing of this, only that she'd been restored to me. Only that, without her, I had yearned to be with her. "I hope this is not a lesson you will prolong." She answered that the test was tried, then sighed relief. A device used in a timepiece for securing a uniform movement, consisting of an escape wheel and a detente or lock, through which periodical impulses are imparted to the balance wheel. A typewriter mechanism controlling or regulating the horizontal movement of the carriage. To clasp or unfold in the arms: hug. To accept willingly; adopt, as a religion or doctrine. To avail oneself of: to embrace an offer. Surround; include; contain. To have sexual intercourse with. To hug one another. To grasp. We made love after the fire was made. Affording approach, view, passage or access because of the absence or removal of barriers, restriction, etc.; unobstructed; unconcealed; not secret or hidden: an open heart. Expanded; unfolded: an open flower. I revealed to her . my fear, she revealed to me her need. Afterward, we took a rest and played a game involving a loop of string stretched in an intricate arrangement over the fingers and then transferred to the other player's hands in a changed form. To engage in sport or diversion; amuse oneself; frolic. To act or behave in a way that is not to be taken seriously. To make love sportively. To move quickly or irregularly as if frolicking: the lights played along the wall. To discharge or be discharged freely: a fountain playing in the square. To perform on a musical instrument. To give forth musical sounds. To move or employ (a piece, card, etc.,) in a game. To decide a tie by playing one more game. "*T*he rain has stopped," I observed in anticipation of gathering a portion of our dinner from the profusion of estuaries that graced our small island in a lacework of tidal pools and shallow coves. She had prepared my expectations with her many stories which had ensnared me into their narrative. "Can we go out now and lurk around in the dark?" My excitement was hardly in exclusion to the hunger our lovemaking had awakened, and in participation, I knew we could summon together the varied delights of a seafood platter. Since our bedrolls were made, the unpacking done, her permission was easily obtained. This night was a mysterious place where land and water intertwined, eroding any sense of where imagination began, all combined to form this nocturnal vantage point. She said I was untrained in the proper method of catching a clam. I was unafraid and told her so. But still, she insisted on the wrongs and rights of stalking our supper in a definite manner. "The interaction between two communities, one below water, the other above, is not to be treated carelessly. I will not permit you to begin this enterprise until adequate measures are taken." I knew she was attempting to chasten my imprudence, directing me against the act of some taboo. I began to cry. "You must learn these things, my love, I'm sorry to upset you. But until my satisfaction is assured that you comprehend the laws of our environment, I will restrain your actions." My sense of shame had spoiled my appetite, as a different sort of gravity defined itself to me. She explained that I had neglected to observe the rite of blessing which connected the clam to her next home. "Its soul mustn't leave a cavity behind. You have to give the clam name." The simple rightness of this gesture afforded me an enlightenment I had not know. "After you christen the creature, she will forever be your friend." I asked if there were any particular requirements in the selection of a name. "The title should serve a simple fitness to the form." I carefully considered the issue. "Well, I guess I need to meet the clam and conduct a proper interview." She nodded in approval. We walked across the island to where a curve of land created a small pool enclosed by peninsular protections. The water's surface remained unbroken as a tranquil divider between this world and that. Another frame of mind penetrated my intentions as I stared through to this undersea society. I glanced at her just once then plunged my hand into its depths and seized a clam. I tenderly placed the creature up on a rock at eye-level. I faced it squarely and tried to start a conversation. "I understand you have no name." The clam would not respond to me. This seemed an excellent opportunity to examine the streamlined shape of her protective shell. Clearly, a fine design. "Forgive me this inconvenience, but it's my instruction to inform you that other worlds request your company. You probably have a little anxiety. As a matter of fact, the same has recently happened to me. I did react with fear at first, but now I see the richness of this polyphony. Your new home will expose you to many colors of seduction, as mine has, and some beautiful, unfamiliar shoreline." The clam began to stir at my suggestion. I felt the urge to give her an affectionate pat on the head. With this, she cracked her shell and whispered, "It would be my pleasure to commence a journey." I explained she must reveal some attribute of herself to me, some insight upon which to seal our acquaintance. She confided that the treasure of her heart was the happiness of her home, a singular bliss of satisfaction. Regarding this, our sentiments did not diverge. So, I took an oath to keep her shell as a memento of our friendship and christened her *Lily of Brisco.* Before long, I had cultivated the companionship of two oysters, four mussels, a periwinkle, three crabs and one lobster. We spread a blanket on some slabs of stone, and on account of our wet clothes, we had to strip to nothing. The calm after the storm hummed a pleasing divertimento, as the night began to spin its own diminuendo. To rest on the surface of a liquid, supported by the upward pressure of the liquid; also, to be carried along gently across the surface. To move lightly and effortlessly, as if buoyed across: She floated dreamily about. In weaving, the filling threads that are passed under or over the warp threads without being engaged. Flock, herd, drove, bevy, covey, gaggle, gam, pack, pride, swarm, litter, hatch and brood denote an assemblage of animals. Flock is applied to birds and to small mammals, now usually sheep or goats. Larger animals, as cattle and elephants, form a herd; when gathered together to be driven, they are a drove. Other terms are fairly restricted in application: a bevy of quail, a covey of partridges, a gaggle of geese, a gam of whales, a pack of dogs or wolves, a pride of lions, a swarm of bees. All the offspring born at one time form a a litter or a hatch or brood. The shape or contour of something as distinguished from its substance or color; external structure. The body of a living being. The particular state, appearance, character, in which something presents itself: energy in the form of light. The style or manner in which the parts of a poem, play, picture, are expressed or organized: to use traditional forms. Proper arrangement or order. A formula or draft, as of a letter, used as a model or guide. The intrinsic nature of something as distinguished from the matter that embodies it. Essence. To give a specific or exemplified shape to: Guesswork forms the larger part of this theory. To shape by discipline or training. To take shape by winding around a fixed point in recurrent curves, until a framework emerges of an interior structure. To come out of one's shell. The Third Quadrant %If we see a city as a puzzle or set of riddles, we will believe ourselves closer to its heart when lost or going nowhere in particular.% -- Robert Harbison, _Eccentric Spaces_ "*I*t's quite provoking," she said after a long silence, "to watch the flames dancing around the log." We were nestled deep into the sofa, snug and warm, drinking cognac. She seemed at a loss for words. I asked her if, by chance, she was cross with me. "Not at all," she hastened to inform, "I'm merely considering what we'll write into our travelogue." Happy to be home again after our brief absence, I stared toward the fire with hopes of seeing what she saw. Nothing was there but flames and a log, as far as my eyes could tell. I knew she saw things in ways I did not, that an object conveys to her a life, and all that it personifies. I looked into the fire again and wished for her to share what it was prevailed in there. Pleading for an explanation, I begged her to confide in me. "It's time you learned to gaze with your own imagination. I will guide you when you need me, but I want your own direction to define itself. Although, you should confide in me, so as not to follow through a maze of mishaps, or plunge into a backslide." I reflected on my new instruction then stared inside my cognac glass. Her attention went back upon the fire. After a diligent few minutes, I eagerly declared, "Oh look! There's a tempest brewing in my snifter." "Let me sneak a look before it swells to swifter proportions." She peeked with some discretion, despaired in resignation, and told me I was off the track. Apparently my vision was impaired. "I'm just reporting what I found." She wrapped her arm around me, evidently still fixed in thought, her mind behind closed doors. "You teach me language," I complained, "and yet it rarely serves or works to my advantage." An explanation not forthcoming, I felt inclined to quit this game, resolve it to the background of my thoughts, label it a trick to confound my senses. Outside our window, a bough of cedar brushed against the pane, distracting my obsession from the issue close at hand. Mindful of her mood, I carefully slipped away toward the window and drew the pulley of the drapery, intent upon finding the clue that had lured me near, knowing well it must pertain to the inner workings of imagination, somehow. That which induces or is used for inducing. In a pleading, the allegations that introduce and explain the issue in dispute. The window inspired her interest. Desire for knowledge of something, especially of something novel or unusual. Anything that retrains or controls. A border of concrete or stone along the edge. An enclosing or confining framework, margin, etc. To protect or provide with a curb. A wayward inclination was curbed by her instruction. Belonging to the immediate present; in progress: the current point. Passing from one person to another; circulating, moving, running, flowing. A continuous onward movement, as of water. Any perceptible course, movement or trend. A line continuously bent, as the arc of a circle. A curving, or something curved. The locus of a point moving in such a way that its course can be defined by an equation. Any line that, plotted against coordinates, represents variations in the values of a given quantity, force, characteristic, etc. Something that conceals or separates: The curtain of darkness weighed heavily across the night. Passage back. Withdrawal. Retrogression. To return to the mean value of a series of observations. Sing a a song of six pence until the song sings of itself, having equal sides and equal angles, unfolding flat upon the table to disclose one red rose, two orchids, three African daisies, seven irises, eight tulips and a bunch of freesia. To move together. *B*ent on discovery, I stared through the window pane and loosened my attachment to the warm protection of the room. Gradually, I began to feel the evening's chill dissolve my awareness into separate facets, each aspect of my self folding inward as elaborate reconstructions reflecting one upon the other to reveal an internal architecture precise in its perfection. A spiral stairway winding in a crystal chain led down toward the center, a second curving back in opposite direction. The trickling sound of water drew me closer. I descended step by step into a honeycomb of courts and chambers. Here were untold riches. All sorts of geometrical configurations -- their patterns extended infinitely, by turns seeming to compound and simplify. I saw no lack of subtleties and symmetries to explore, though I chose a simple one which repeated a two-sided motif of dark horizontal leaves, another of light vertical leaves. Each shape clearly a form of translation, weaves of parallel shifts in either horizontal or vertical direction. Just as I'd begun to see that both light and dark patterns were no more than identical reflections, it became clear to me that a dark leaf could be turned once through a right angle into the opposite position of a neighboring leaf, then always rotating around the same point where its stays, turning again into the next position, and again around the same point, to continue coming back upon itself through a sphere. And then. . . her voice. I found myself standing before the window again, mesmerized by the snow silently falling in the dark, my nose pressed upon the glass, my breath fogging up the scene. The field outside our house was covered in a velveteen blanket of white. But the spiral staircase was gone. Everything my imagination yielded up had vaporized upon the pane, leaving only the vaguest understanding. A light, portable barrier for horses or runners to leap over in races. A race in which such barrier are used. An obstacle or difficulty to be surmounted. Formerly, a sledge on which condemned persons were dragged to the place of execution. To leap over. To make cover, or enclose with hurdles, obstacles, etc. A movable framework, as on interlaced twigs or branches, used for temporary fencing. The outer coating of certain fruits or seeds, especially of an ear of corn. Any outer covering, especially when relatively worthless. Appearance presented to the mind by circumstances. A looking or facing in a given direction: the southern aspect of the house. Any configuration of the planets. A category of the verb indicating the nature of the action performed in regard to the passage of time. Phase, aspect, side, facet and stage denote one of a number of different appearances presented by an object. Phase differs through change in the object; aspect differs through change in the position of the observer. The Fourth Quadrant %The experience of art acknowledges that it cannot present the perfect truth of what it experiences in terms of final knowledge. Here there is no absolute progress and no final exhaustion of what lies in a work of art. The experience of art knows this of itself.% -- Hans-Georg Gadamer, _Truth and Method_ *T*he sound of morning waves broke against the shore outside our bedroom window. I heard their soft retreat across the sand pulling them back into the body of their container, hesitating as though the sand were their detainer, until the subtle lulling washing to an fro awoke me from my sleep. Eager to explore to world I had discovered the night before, refreshed by dreams of intimation, filled with inspiration, knowing now this world is something other than it seems, I reconsidered what it was I had uncovered. Or was it just a metaphor? Silently, I dressed and made my way down the hall, pausing briefly to admire a gilded frame encaging hand-drawn birds pressed beneath the glass -- a cormorant, laughing gull and snowy egret. I had gotten her to admit these were the things she'd done to pass the time before I came. Some were done in watercolor, others with a conte crayon. Even now, she set aside a part of our morning for me to render what it was that captured my attention. I painted pictures she called abstraction -- the process of extraction from natural forms the shapes of my conviction, then shuffling them together, as though inside a blender, and calling it my art. Every morning I would hurry to examine the color of the day. I loved the way the sky would lift above the sea, the contrast of two worlds where this seam divided air from water, where liquid blue dispersed across the scene in a bleeding azure value continuous as the canvas on which I painted. A theme would finally emerge. I can't say why, but next I would be working in the studio, mixing a thin wash of some new color. After creating the desired transparency, I would begin to put my vision on the canvas. Without the need for any preparation, an image would come forward. The saturation of the pigment might be analogous to the nature of the light, though sometimes fancy led another way and where I ended up could be a trifle odd. But none of this mattered to her. She saw lilacs blooming on the horizon, bathed in hearts of watery foliage, their delicate parts opening in the mist. Or maybe she found tracks across the snow, traces of a presence yet to scatter with the wind. Or a cookie dipping in a cup of tea, bringing back some memory of life before I came. Today the light is clear and luminous, the clarity of winter's spareness filling the air with a climate of intention awaiting my invention --